On Being With You
Being alone is easy, but being with yourself is hard.
Being alone only asks for us to be singular, but it does not ask us to be present.
So many of us experience aloneness with escape: we scroll, we work, we exercise, we clean, we meal prep, we numb ourselves into oblivion…
But being with yourself? This is hard.
So many of us struggle to tolerate ourselves.
We struggle to be alone with our thoughts.
We resist sitting with our worries.
We avoid our heartache.
We wrestle with our desires.
We fight with our hopes…
So many of us feel unsafe with ourselves.
Confronting you, being with you, seeing you asks for you to do the hardest things. Yet, this is the path towards the healing we want most.
We want to be free of the things that hurt us, but we are too afraid to feel the pain.
We want to elevate our lives, but we are too anxious to look within and find your strengths.
We want others to meet our deepest needs, but we resist ever discovering and owning what they are.
This is often why we do the same things in relationship.
We dismiss our needs.
We neglect our voices.
We even abandon ourselves, in service for another.
It’s all a reflection of our present relationship with ourselves, the relationship we resist cultivating the most.
listen to ep. 7: safe on your own
This is why solitude is so powerful. It’s more than just being by yourself, of being singular.
It’s about plugging in, going inward, sitting with the inner self that we often ignore.
Your inner child.
Your highest self.
They’re both tucked away in the depths of you, waiting for your attention.
Solitude creates self-safety.
When we practice safety, we set the intention to be with ourselves.
We set the intention to stay.
We set the intention to listen. To breathe. To soothe. To respond. To encourage.
To see what’s really there, and show up lovingly. Not “in spite of”, but “because of.”
The good news is this can unfold in a coloring kit the same way it can in deep meditation.
You can find yourself on a walk around the neighborhood the same way you can on a retreat in Bali.
Wherever you go, there you are.
But we rarely go there. So, how can we find the safety and the courage to invite someone else in, too?
I want to invite us to go within this holiday season, too.
Yes, find your people, find your community, find those spaces of belonging.
But, don’t forget to make time for you.
Feeling connected to the self feels like existing in full color instead of in gray.
It feels like being plugged in instead of searching for a power cord.
And that’s the state you deserve to exist in, especially when seeking to connect with others.
This is how you experience the things you really want—feeling seen, feeling known, feeling loved—and bring you along for the ride.
Listen to Episode 7: Safe on Your Own to learn more, and remember to subscribe to the Seen Sunday newsletter.
